Life at the University dormitory is one of the biggest changes for a new college student faces. First, many are sleeping, at least two people per room. Then there are shared resources, such as bathrooms, common areas to eat or study, and there’s usually nowhere to get any real intimacy.
Then there are the few hundred new friends you need to interact with on a daily basis. Knowing how to play in that big of a sandbox can be a bit overwhelming. Add the dorms that many are mixed, which brings new issues to the table. For many new college students this is their first experience being away from home and lose the support of family and friends.
This may be the first time many new college students make all daily decisions, as when, where, how to eat, sleep, even waking in the morning. Not to mention provide some class and study time each day. That’s a lot of changes and self-discipline to absorb in the first weeks of university life.
The social, peer pressure, the pressure of grades, and that by his own account is a new experience. And the temptations of all kinds can be attractive. Some can adapt quickly, some may need some real world example to demonstrate the obvious (and obviously once you have been through it).
What can you do to help? That is a difficult question because each new student is different. My mother and father handled it very differently. My father looked into my eyes and told me that my grades reflect my opinion. I had no one for a while. My mother told me to just act myself, being kind, and make sure I got to class every day. Of course that ended not worry too much about little things, paying attention in class, and always have time to study.
There was much more listed, but it is more or less what stuck with me. I was paying my way so money rarely went into the talks, although my parents helped out when ever they could. I also had at least one telephone call per week (if not calling home) to see how things were going. Some weeks the phone calls helped me when I was having problems with one thing or another.
I think it’s the best position for most parents and family members to take. Be supportive, add a little parental guidance, and be there when they have questions. Check up on them, but do not over do it. Everyone in the family can be part of the support group. Older siblings, aunts and uncles, and grandparents all can participate too.
Care packages also help. My family often sent me things from food to blankets. The content provided was helpful, but I think the fact that you knew someone was out there and cared enough to send something was good too. Packages always had a brief note on family news and even pictures.
The conclusion is that each new student must find his own way in learning how to cope with university life bedroom. Your support can mean simply being there when needed. Offering advice when asked, and sometimes just listening can help make sense of the new lifestyle. There will be mistakes, that’s what learning is all about. The key is to try to let them know that we all go through these trials and tribulations, when we are young.
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